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**COMMISSIONER’S NOTE**
Double Headers Scoring Glitch
Phlying High was the only team affected by this weeks scoring glitch in their game against The Gremlins, which is what I was hoping would happen. Sorry Phlying High. In 48 double header games played (Week 4 & Week 8), only 2 games had to be corrected and both of those games came down to 1 pt.
With one more Double Header Weekend coming down the road (Week 12), this scoring glitch will be history…
The Keeper’s Deadline
Just as a heads up, The Keeper’s Deadline is Wednesday, November 11th @11:00pm EST. You can email, call, text, scream, etc. you keeper’s to me as I will be getting with each of you on how to set your Keeper Values.
The Keeper’s Value
Keeper’s are slowly coming in and I’m manually going over the Keeper’s Values with all owner/coaches personally so they have a grasp of how to sign their keepers contracts for next season. I will share my keepers values for those who still do not have a full understanding of how to use the new Keeper’s Value system as for example purposes for other teams. The example below should help guide you through establishing your teams keepers & values.
DeSeantourage
Franchise Tag Option Exercised
- Franchise Tagged: Randall Cobb-WR – Player has a chance to become the Face of the Franchise, meaning this player will have to be resigned to the maximum contract available (a Keeper 3 contract in 2016) to keep this player beyond the 2016 season. If not, this player will HAVE to go back to the draft pool to be redrafted.
- Keeper 1 Contract: Matt Forte-RB – Player will become a Restricted Free Agent in 2016, meaning this player will have to be resigned to the maximum contract available (a Keeper 3 contract in 2016) to keep this player beyond the 2016 season. If not, this player will HAVE to go back to the draft pool to be redrafted.
- Keeper 2 Contract: Lavonte David-LB – Player is signed with team till the 2017 season.
- Keeper 3 Contract: Todd Gurley-RB – Player is signed with team till the 2018 season.
DeSeantourage has a big decision coming in 2016 as they will have to figure out which of the two players they will lock up for the future…, Randall Cobb-WR or Matt Forte-RB. Only one will return to the team for the 2017 season.
**Week 8 Recaps**
First Wave of Games
JUICE’S and BERRY’s Squeak by San Diego Goats In the Narrowest of Margins
Difference Maker:
JUICE’S and BERRY’s A.J. Green-WR (17.80 pts)
JUICE’S and BERRY’s squeaked by the San Diego Goats 103.48 to 99.24, extending the losing streak for the San Diego Goats to 4 games.
JUICE’S and BERRY’s were led to their 4.24 point victory by a 17.80 point effort from A.J. Green, who beat the Pittsburgh Steelers defense for 118 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 17.20 point effort from Dion Lewis, who snuck past the Miami Dolphins defense for 19 rushing yards in addition to 93 receiving yards.
“It hasn’t sunk in yet,” JUICE’S and BERRY’s coach Monte Johnson said.
The San Diego Goats were helped out in a losing cause by a 15.80 point effort from Jarvis Landry, who snuck past the New England Patriots defense for 71 receiving yards. They also got help from a 14.50 point effort from Justin Houston, who beat the Detroit Lions offense for 2 tackles and 1 interception.
“We don’t care about moral victories,” San Diego Goats coach Chad Kutzke said.
Compounding the issue, the San Diego Goats could have scored 124.20 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Chad Kutzke left key players like Brandin Cooks and his corresponding 20.50 points on the bench.
JUICE’S and BERRY’s took advantage of their schedule this week, as their point total would have gone for a loss against 22 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for JUICE’S and BERRY’s to 5-5, and drops the San Diego Goats to a record of 4-6.
Coming up in week 9, the San Diego Goats are at 9-1 I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks, where I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks are an early 11.1-point underdog, while JUICE’S and BERRY’s are at 6-4 DeSeantourage, where DeSeantourage are an early 51.7-point favorite.
DeSeantourage Takes Out Dread Pirate Oso
Difference Maker:
DeSeantourage’s Philip Rivers-QB (25.04 pts)
DeSeantourage took out a strong Dread Pirate Oso team by a score of 129.54 to 118.84, behind the support of 74,672 faithful fans at Ari Gold Stadium.
DeSeantourage were led to their 17.70 point victory by a 25.04 point effort from Philip Rivers, who beat the Baltimore Ravens defense for 301 passing yards and 3 passing TDs. With this performance, Rivers was the number 6 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 22.60 point effort from Todd Gurley, who beat the San Francisco 49ers defense for 133 rushing yards and 1 rushing TD in addition to 13 receiving yards.
“We knew what we had to do and went in and did it,” DeSeantourage coach Theron K. Shavers said.
Dread Pirate Oso were helped out in a losing cause by a 12.74 point effort from Andrew Luck, who got by the Carolina Panthers defense for 231 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 35 rushing yards. They also got help from a 11.90 point effort from Latavius Murray, who beat the New York Jets defense for 113 rushing yards in addition to 6 receiving yards.
“I tip my hat to them,” Dread Pirate Oso coach Mac said.
This brings the record for DeSeantourage to 6-4, and drops Dread Pirate Oso to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, 8-2 1010011010 are at Dread Pirate Oso, where Dread Pirate Oso are an early 7.3-point favorite, while 5-5 JUICE’S and BERRY’s are at DeSeantourage, where DeSeantourage are an early 51.7-point favorite.
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks Shoot Up Carolina Hitmen
Difference Maker:
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks’ J.J. Watt-DL (16.30 pts)
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks shot up the Carolina Hitmen 146.70 to 110.94, behind the support of 69,118 faithful fans at Ample Watts Field.
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks were led to their 42.76 point victory by a 16.30 point effort from J.J. Watt, who beat the Tennessee Titans offense for 3 tackles and 2.5 QB sacks. With this performance, Watt was the number 1 ranked defensive end for week 8. They also got help from a 15.40 point effort from Ameer Abdullah, who snuck past the Kansas City Chiefs defense for 3 rushing yards.
“We weren’t going to just lie down,” I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks coach Robert Jackson said.
The Carolina Hitmen were helped out in a losing cause by a 29.34 point effort from Tom Brady, who tore apart the Miami Dolphins defense for 356 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brady was the number 5 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 13.00 point effort from Graham Gano, who beat the Indianapolis Colts defense for 3 field goals made and 2 extra points.
“They’ve been on fire all season,” Carolina Hitmen coach Ronnell Morgan said.
This brings the record for I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks to 9-1, and drops the Carolina Hitmen to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the 4-6 San Diego Goats are at I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks, where I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks are an early 11.1-point underdog, while the Carolina Hitmen are at the 4-6 Clam Diggers, where the Clam Diggers are an early 34.6-point favorite.
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered Hammers BUCKNASTY BOYS
Difference Maker:
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered Julian Edelman-WR (23.90 pts)
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered hammered the BUCKNASTY BOYS by a score of 154.72 to 119.66, behind the support of 74,703 faithful fans at Giants Stadium.
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered were led to their 42.06 point victory by a 23.90 point effort from Julian Edelman, who got by the Miami Dolphins defense for 81 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Edelman was the number 4 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 21.50 point effort from Shane Vereen, who snuck past the New Orleans Saints defense for 3 rushing yards in addition to 60 receiving yards.
“It was a hard-fought contest,” Hakeem I Saw I Conquered coach Brian Liotta said.
The BUCKNASTY BOYS were helped out in a losing cause by a 30.56 point effort from Carson Palmer, who tore apart the Cleveland Browns defense for 374 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 6 rushing yards. With this performance, Palmer was the number 5 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 12.00 point effort from Eric Decker, who snuck past the Oakland Raiders defense for 60 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“Give them all the credit,” BUCKNASTY BOYS coach Jesse Lowrey said.
This brings the record for Hakeem I Saw I Conquered to 7-3, and drops the BUCKNASTY BOYS to a record of 3-7.
Coming up in week 9, 3-7 I Go Deep are at Hakeem I Saw I Conquered, where Hakeem I Saw I Conquered are an early 13.2-point underdog, while the BUCKNASTY BOYS are at 1-9 Georgia Boy, where Georgia Boy are an early 43.2-point favorite.
1010011010 Pounds Georgia Boy To Extend Their Losing Streak
Difference Maker:
1010011010’s Drew Brees-QB (46.30 pts)
1010011010 pounded Georgia Boy 180.00 to 110.58, extending the winning streak for 1010011010 to 4 games.
1010011010 were led to their 62.42 point victory by a 46.30 point effort from Drew Brees, who tore apart the New York Giants defense for 505 passing yards and 7 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brees was the number 1 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 16.50 point effort from Stefon Diggs, who got by the Chicago Bears defense for 95 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“We feed off the energy of our fans,” 1010011010 coach Mark Garlitz said.
Georgia Boy were helped out in a losing cause by a 19.40 point effort from Marques Colston, who beat the New York Giants defense for 114 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 18.30 point effort from Rob Gronkowski, who beat the Miami Dolphins defense for 113 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“We didn’t get the job done,” Georgia Boy coach Jimmie Lewis said.
This brings the record for 1010011010 to 8-2, and drops Georgia Boy to a record of 1-9.
Coming up in week 9, 1010011010 are at 6-4 Dread Pirate Oso, where Dread Pirate Oso are an early 7.3-point favorite, while the 3-7 BUCKNASTY BOYS are at Georgia Boy, where Georgia Boy are an early 43.2-point favorite.
I Go Deep Send Clam Diggers Packing
Difference Maker:
I Go Deep’s Odell Beckham Jr.-WR (33.00 pts)
I Go Deep sent the Clam Diggers packing, beating them by the score of 146.50 to 122.58, behind the support of 74,185 faithful fans at Deeper Field.
I Go Deep were led to their 23.92 point victory by a 33.00 point effort from Odell Beckham, who beat the New Orleans Saints defense for 130 receiving yards and 3 receiving TDs. With this performance, Beckham was the number 3 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 23.00 point effort from Kwon Alexander, who beat the Atlanta Falcons offense for 6 tackles and 1 interception.
“We finally got the monkey off our backs,” I Go Deep coach Nick Davis said.
The Clam Diggers were helped out in a losing cause by a 19.90 point effort from Luke Kuechly, who beat the Indianapolis Colts offense for 9 tackles and 1 interception. With this performance, Kuechly was the number 3 ranked defensive linebacker for week 8. They also got help from a 19.08 point effort from Matt Ryan, who tore apart the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 397 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 2 rushing yards.
“Not to take away anything from our opponents, but we didn’t play like we’re capable of playing,” Clam Diggers coach Rich Perez said.
This brings the record for I Go Deep to 3-7, and drops the Clam Diggers to a record of 4-6.
Coming up in week 9, the 5-5 Carolina Hitmen are at the Clam Diggers, where the Clam Diggers are an early 34.6-point favorite, while I Go Deep are at 7-3 Hakeem I Saw I Conquered, where Hakeem I Saw I Conquered are an early 13.2-point underdog.
Hyde Yo Wife Upend Surprise Scorpians
Difference Maker:
Hyde Yo Wife’s Julio Jones-WR (20.20 pts)
Hyde Yo Wife upended the Surprise Scorpians by a score of 152.32 to 144.64, behind the support of 73,702 faithful fans at B.o.B. Field.
Hyde Yo Wife were led to their 7.68 point victory by a 20.20 point effort from Julio Jones, who beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 162 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 18.30 point effort from Rob Gronkowski, who beat the Miami Dolphins defense for 113 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“We’re tickled to death,” Hyde Yo Wife coach Greg Stallworth said.
The Surprise Scorpians were helped out in a losing cause by a 29.34 point effort from Tom Brady, who tore apart the Miami Dolphins defense for 356 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brady was the number 5 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 16.80 point effort from Demaryius Thomas, who beat the Green Bay Packers defense for 168 receiving yards.
“They just made the big plays and we didn’t,” Surprise Scorpians coach Robert Elliott said.
Compounding the issue, the Surprise Scorpians could have scored 185.20 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Robert Elliott left key players like Eli Manning and his corresponding 37.00 points on the bench.
The Surprise Scorpians drew the short straw with their schedule this week, as their point total would have resulted in a win against 16 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for Hyde Yo Wife to 5-5, and drops the Surprise Scorpians to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, the Surprise Scorpians are at 4-6 Beer, Cheese, & Brats, where Beer, Cheese, & Brats are an early 3.6-point favorite, while Hyde Yo Wife are at 5-5 Phlying High, where Phlying High are an early 34.0-point underdog.
The Gremlins Shoot Down Phlying High
Difference Maker:
The Gremlins’ Todd Gurley-RB (22.60 pts)
The Gremlins shot down a tough Phlying High team by a score of 132.80 to 125.84, extending the winning streak for The Gremlins to 3 games.
The Gremlins were led to their 0.46 point victory by a 22.60 point effort from Todd Gurley, who beat the San Francisco 49ers defense for 133 rushing yards and 1 rushing TD in addition to 13 receiving yards. With this performance, Gurley was the number 2 ranked running back for week 8. They also got help from a 15.40 point effort from DeAndre Hopkins, who got by the Tennessee Titans defense for 94 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“It wasn’t pretty but we’ll take it,” The Gremlins coach Dan Arcand said.
Phlying High were helped out in a losing cause by a 25.70 point effort from Dwayne Harris, who snuck past the New Orleans Saints defense for 37 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Harris was the number 2 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 25.04 point effort from Philip Rivers, who beat the Baltimore Ravens defense for 301 passing yards and 3 passing TDs.
“We lost our focus,” Phlying High coach Jake Fields said.
This brings the record for The Gremlins to 8-2, and drops Phlying High to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the 5-5 Soul Snatchers are at The Gremlins, where The Gremlins are an early 14.1-point underdog, while 5-5 Hyde Yo Wife are at Phlying High, where Phlying High are an early 34.0-point underdog.
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! Down Beer, Cheese, & Brats In Close One
Difference Maker:
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! Julian Edelman-WR (23.90 pts)
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! downed a tough Beer, Cheese, & Brats team by a score of 115.78 to 107.74, extending the losing streak for Beer, Cheese, & Brats to 4 games.
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! were led to their 1.04 point victory by a 23.90 point effort from Julian Edelman, who got by the Miami Dolphins defense for 81 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Edelman was the number 4 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 17.20 point effort from Dion Lewis, who snuck past the Miami Dolphins defense for 19 rushing yards in addition to 93 receiving yards.
“We finally got the monkey off our backs,” Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! coach Joshua Hagerman said.
Beer, Cheese, & Brats were helped out in a losing cause by a 33.00 point effort from Odell Beckham, who beat the New Orleans Saints defense for 130 receiving yards and 3 receiving TDs. With this performance, Beckham was the number 3 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 17.60 point effort from Alshon Jeffery, who beat the Minnesota Vikings defense for 116 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“I don’t want to point fingers,” Beer, Cheese, & Brats coach Jim Barnes said.
Causing further embarrassment, Beer, Cheese, & Brats could have scored 125.24 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Jim Barnes left key players like Michael Floyd and his corresponding 18.60 points on the bench.
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! took advantage of their schedule this week, as their point total would have gone for a loss against 18 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! to 2-8, and drops Beer, Cheese, & Brats to a record of 4-6.
Coming up in week 9, the 6-4 Surprise Scorpians are at Beer, Cheese, & Brats, where Beer, Cheese, & Brats are an early 3.6-point favorite, while Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! are at the 6-4 Cacahuetes Orange, where the Cacahuetes Orange are an early 56.1-point favorite.
NC Titans Take Down Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood for First Win of Season
Difference Maker:
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! Joe Flacco-QB (19.96 pts)
The NC Titans took down Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood by a score of 137.96 to 129.18, behind the support of 71,110 faithful fans at Titans Field.
The NC Titans were led to their 15.78 point victory by a 19.96 point effort from Joe Flacco, who beat the San Diego Chargers defense for 319 passing yards and 1 passing TD in addition to 2 rushing yards. They also got help from a 19.90 point effort from Luke Kuechly, who beat the Indianapolis Colts offense for 9 tackles and 1 interception.
“Our guys finally got the message today,” NC Titans coach Manzel Kendrick said.
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood were helped out in a losing cause by a 20.70 point effort from Ben Watson, who beat the New York Giants defense for 147 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. With this performance, Watson was the number 1 ranked tight end for week 8. They also got help from a 11.00 point effort from Sean Lee, who beat the Seattle Seahawks offense for 5 tackles.
“Give them all the credit, they were the better team today” Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood coach Michael Liotta said.
This brings the record for NC Titans to 2-8, and drops Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, 3-7 Jamstradamus are at the NC Titans, where the NC Titans are an early 8.3-point underdog, while Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood are at 7-3 Fear The CAT, where Fear The CAT are an early 23.5-point underdog.
Fear The CAT Snatch the Win from Soul Snatchers
Difference Maker:
Fear The CAT‘s Matt Ryan-QB (19.08 pts)
Fear The CAT snatch the win from the Soul Snatchers 110.78 to 108.64, behind the support of 70,576 faithful fans at On the Prowl Stadium.
Fear The CAT were led to their 9.14 point victory by a 19.08 point effort from Matt Ryan, who tore apart the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 397 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 2 rushing yards. They also got help from a 10.50 point effort from Robert Quinn, who beat the San Francisco 49ers offense for 3 tackles and 1.0 QB sack.
“We’re going to use this win as a building block,” Fear The CAT coach Billy Hewitt said.
The Soul Snatchers were helped out in a losing cause by a 15.40 point effort from Ameer Abdullah, who snuck past the Kansas City Chiefs defense for 3 rushing yards. They also got help from a 13.50 point effort from Daryl Smith, who beat the San Diego Chargers offense for 7 tackles.
“Our guys played hard,” Soul Snatchers coach Marcus McKinley said.
Causing further embarrassment, the Soul Snatchers could have scored 157.72 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Marcus McKinley left key players like Derek Carr and his corresponding 32.12 points on the bench.
Fear The CAT took advantage of their schedule this week, as their point total would have gone for a loss against 16 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for Fear The CAT to 7-3, and drops the Soul Snatchers to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the Soul Snatchers are at 8-2 The Gremlins, where The Gremlins are an early 14.1-point underdog, while 6-4 Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood are at Fear The CAT, where Fear The CAT are an early 23.5-point underdog.
Cacahuetes Orange Slam Jamstradamus
Difference Maker:
Cacahuetes Orange’s Drew Brees-QB (46.30 pts)
The Cacahuetes Orange slammed the door on Jamstradamus 174.70 to 131.30, extending the winning streak for the Cacahuetes Orange to 5 games.
The Cacahuetes Orange were led to their 43.40 point victory by a 46.30 point effort from Drew Brees, who tore apart the New York Giants defense for 505 passing yards and 7 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brees was the number 1 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 17.80 point effort from A.J. Green, who beat the Pittsburgh Steelers defense for 118 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“You dream about this as a kid,” Cacahuetes Orange coach Champ Douglas said.
Jamstradamus were helped out in a losing cause by a 24.60 point effort from Alex Smith, who snuck past the Detroit Lions defense for 145 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 78 rushing yards. They also got help from a 14.40 point effort from Chandler Jones, who beat the Miami Dolphins offense for 4 tackles and 2.0 sacked a qb.
“We need to find our rhythm,” Jamstradamus coach Mike Frier said.
This brings the record for the Cacahuetes Orange to 6-4, and drops Jamstradamus to a record of 3-7.
Coming up in week 9, 2-8 Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! are at the Cacahuetes Orange, where the Cacahuetes Orange are an early 56.1-point favorite, while Jamstradamus are at the 2-8 NC Titans, where the NC Titans are an early 8.3-point underdog.
Second Wave of Games
**Game of the Week**
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks Manhandle Dread Pirate Oso
Difference Maker:
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks’ J.J. Watt-DL (16.30 pts)
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks manhandle a strong Dread Pirate Oso team 153.70 to 111.84, behind the support of 68,526 faithful fans at Ample Watts Field.
I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks were led to their 34.86 point victory by a 16.30 point effort from J.J. Watt, who beat the Tennessee Titans offense for 3 tackles and 2.5 QB sacks. With this performance, Watt was the number 1 ranked defensive end for week 8. They also got help from a 15.40 point effort from Ameer Abdullah, who snuck past the Kansas City Chiefs defense for 3 rushing yards.
“We knew what we had to do and went out and did it,” I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks coach Robert Jackson said.
Dread Pirate Oso were helped out in a losing cause by a 12.74 point effort from Andrew Luck, who got by the Carolina Panthers defense for 231 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 35 rushing yards. They also got help from a 11.90 point effort from Latavius Murray, who beat the New York Jets defense for 113 rushing yards in addition to 6 receiving yards.
“They’re a great team,” Dread Pirate Oso coach Mac said.
This brings the record for I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks to 9-1, and drops Dread Pirate Oso to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, the 4-6 San Diego Goats are at I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks, where I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks are an early 11.1-point underdog, while 8-2 1010011010 are at Dread Pirate Oso, where Dread Pirate Oso are an early 7.3-point favorite.
Clam Diggers Juice JUICE’S and BERRY’s
Difference Maker:
Clam Diggers’ Luke Kuechly-LB (19.90 pts)
The Clam Diggers juiced JUICE’S and BERRY’s by a score of 122.58 to 103.48, silencing the hostile crowd of 67,614 at The Arrowhead.
The Clam Diggers were led to their 19.10 point victory by a 19.90 point effort from Luke Kuechly, who beat the Indianapolis Colts offense for 9 tackles and 1 interception. With this performance, Kuechly was the number 3 ranked defensive linebacker for week 8. They also got help from a 19.08 point effort from Matt Ryan, who tore apart the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 397 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 2 rushing yards.
“This team shows a lot of pride,” Clam Diggers coach Rich Perez said.
JUICE’S and BERRY’s were helped out in a losing cause by a 17.80 point effort from A.J. Green, who beat the Pittsburgh Steelers defense for 118 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 17.20 point effort from Dion Lewis, who snuck past the Miami Dolphins defense for 19 rushing yards in addition to 93 receiving yards.
“It just wasn’t meant to be,” JUICE’S and BERRY’s coach Monte Johnson said.
This brings the record for the Clam Diggers to 4-6, and drops JUICE’S and BERRY’s to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the 5-5 Carolina Hitmen are at the Clam Diggers, where the Clam Diggers are an early 23.4-point favorite, while JUICE’S and BERRY’s are at 6-4 DeSeantourage, where DeSeantourage are an early 48-point favorite.
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered Creams San Diego Goats
Difference Maker:
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered Julian Edelman-WR (23.90 pts)
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered creamed a hapless San Diego Goats team by a score of 161.72 to 99.24, extending the losing streak for the San Diego Goats to 4 games.
Hakeem I Saw I Conquered were led to their 62.48 point victory by a 23.90 point effort from Julian Edelman, who got by the Miami Dolphins defense for 81 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Edelman was the number 4 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 21.50 point effort from Shane Vereen, who snuck past the New Orleans Saints defense for 3 rushing yards in addition to 60 receiving yards.
“This was a big confidence booster,” Hakeem I Saw I Conquered coach Brian Liotta said.
The San Diego Goats were helped out in a losing cause by a 15.80 point effort from Jarvis Landry, who snuck past the New England Patriots defense for 71 receiving yards. They also got help from a 14.50 point effort from Justin Houston, who beat the Detroit Lions offense for 2 tackles and 1 interception.
“We weren’t mentally prepared,” San Diego Goats coach Chad Kutzke said.
This brings the record for Hakeem I Saw I Conquered to 7-3, and drops the San Diego Goats to a record of 4-6.
Coming up in week 9, the San Diego Goats are at 9-1 I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks, where I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks are an early 27.3-point favorite, while 3-7 I Go Deep are at Hakeem I Saw I Conquered, where Hakeem I Saw I Conquered are an early 13.3-point underdog.
Georgia Boy Takes Down Carolina Hitmen for First Win of the Season
Difference Maker:
Georgia Boy’s Marques Colston-WR (19.40 pts)
Georgia Boy took down the Carolina Hitmen 117.58 to 103.94, behind the support of 72,775 faithful fans at Georgia Dome.
Georgia Boy were led to their 6.64 point victory by a 19.40 point effort from Marques Colston, who beat the New York Giants defense for 114 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 18.30 point effort from Rob Gronkowski, who beat the Miami Dolphins defense for 113 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“We’ll use this win as a stepping stone to get to the next level,” Georgia Boy coach Jimmie Lewis said.
The Carolina Hitmen were helped out in a losing cause by a 29.34 point effort from Tom Brady, who tore apart the Miami Dolphins defense for 356 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brady was the number 5 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 13.00 point effort from Graham Gano, who beat the Indianapolis Colts defense for 3 field goals made and 2 extra points.
“They stepped up and made the plays,” Carolina Hitmen coach Ronnell Morgan said.
Causing further embarrassment, the Carolina Hitmen could have scored 130.04 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Ronnell Morgan left key players like Julio Jones and his corresponding 20.20 points on the bench.
Georgia Boy took advantage of their schedule this week, as their point total would have gone for a loss against 17 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for Georgia Boy to 1-9, and drops the Carolina Hitmen to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the Carolina Hitmen are at the 4-6 Clam Diggers, where the Clam Diggers are an early 23.4-point favorite, while the 3-7 BUCKNASTY BOYS are at Georgia Boy, where Georgia Boy are an early 39.3-point favorite.
I Go Deep Goes Long on DeSeantourage
Difference Maker:
I Go Deep’s Odell Beckham Jr.-WR (33.00 pts)
I Go Deep went deep on DeSeantourage 139.50 to 136.54, behind the support of 70,200 faithful fans at Deeper Field.
I Go Deep were led to their 9.96 point victory by a 33.00 point effort from Odell Beckham, who beat the New Orleans Saints defense for 130 receiving yards and 3 receiving TDs. With this performance, Beckham was the number 3 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 23.00 point effort from Kwon Alexander, who beat the Atlanta Falcons offense for 6 tackles and 1 interception.
“We brought our A-game,” I Go Deep coach Nick Davis said.
DeSeantourage were helped out in a losing cause by a 25.04 point effort from Philip Rivers, who beat the Baltimore Ravens defense for 301 passing yards and 3 passing TDs. With this performance, Rivers was the number 6 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 22.60 point effort from Todd Gurley, who beat the San Francisco 49ers defense for 133 rushing yards and 1 rushing TD in addition to 13 receiving yards.
“We didn’t get the big breaks today,” DeSeantourage coach Theron K. Shavers said.
This brings the record for I Go Deep to 3-7, and drops DeSeantourage to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, I Go Deep are at 7-3 Hakeem I Saw I Conquered, where Hakeem I Saw I Conquered are an early 13.3-point underdog, while 5-5 JUICE’S and BERRY’s are at DeSeantourage, where DeSeantourage are an early 48-point favorite.
1010011010 Pours It On BUCKNASTY BOYS
Difference Maker:
1010011010’s Drew Brees-QB (46.30 pts)
1010011010 poured it on the BUCKNASTY BOYS 173.00 to 119.66, extending the winning streak for 1010011010 to 4 games.
1010011010 were led to their 60.34 point victory by a 46.30 point effort from Drew Brees, who tore apart the New York Giants defense for 505 passing yards and 7 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brees was the number 1 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 16.50 point effort from Stefon Diggs, who got by the Chicago Bears defense for 95 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“They gave us a scare early,” 1010011010 coach Mark Garlitz said.
The BUCKNASTY BOYS were helped out in a losing cause by a 30.56 point effort from Carson Palmer, who tore apart the Cleveland Browns defense for 374 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 6 rushing yards. With this performance, Palmer was the number 5 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 12.00 point effort from Eric Decker, who snuck past the Oakland Raiders defense for 60 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“They out-coached us,” BUCKNASTY BOYS coach Jesse Lowrey said.
This brings the record for 1010011010 to 8-2, and drops the BUCKNASTY BOYS to a record of 3-7.
Coming up in week 9, 1010011010 are at 6-4 Dread Pirate Oso, where Dread Pirate Oso are an early 23.7-point underdog, while the BUCKNASTY BOYS are at 1-9 Georgia Boy, where Georgia Boy are an early 39.3-point favorite.
The Gremlins Down Beer, Cheese, & Brats
Difference Maker:
The Gremlins’ Todd Gurley-RB (22.60 pts)
The Gremlins down Beer, Cheese, & Brats 132.80 to 114.74, extending the winning streak for The Gremlins to 3 games.
The Gremlins were led to their 18.06 point victory by a 22.60 point effort from Todd Gurley, who beat the San Francisco 49ers defense for 133 rushing yards and 1 rushing TD in addition to 13 receiving yards. With this performance, Gurley was the number 2 ranked running back for week 8. They also got help from a 15.40 point effort from DeAndre Hopkins, who got by the Tennessee Titans defense for 94 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“This team shows a lot of poise,” The Gremlins coach Dan Arcand said.
Beer, Cheese, & Brats were helped out in a losing cause by a 33.00 point effort from Odell Beckham, who beat the New Orleans Saints defense for 130 receiving yards and 3 receiving TDs. With this performance, Beckham was the number 3 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 17.60 point effort from Alshon Jeffery, who beat the Minnesota Vikings defense for 116 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“We don’t care about moral victories,” Beer, Cheese, & Brats coach Jim Barnes said.
This brings the record for The Gremlins to 8-2, and drops Beer, Cheese, & Brats to a record of 4-6.
Coming up in week 9, the 6-4 Surprise Scorpians are at Beer, Cheese, & Brats, where Beer, Cheese, & Brats are an early 1.6-point underdog, while the 5-5 Soul Snatchers are at The Gremlins, where The Gremlins are an early 2.8-point favorite.
Cacahuetes Orange Smoke Hyde Yo Wife
Difference Maker:
Cacahuetes Orange’s Todd Gurley-RB (22.60 pts)
The Cacahuetes Orange smoked Hyde Yo Wife by a score of 174.70 to 152.32, extending the winning streak for Cacahuetes Orange to 5 games.
The Cacahuetes Orange were led to their 22.38 point victory by a 46.30 point effort from Drew Brees, who tore apart the New York Giants defense for 505 passing yards and 7 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brees was the number 1 ranked overall fantasy scorer for week 8. They also got help from a 17.80 point effort from A.J. Green, who beat the Pittsburgh Steelers defense for 118 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“It feels great to come out on top,” Cacahuetes Orange coach Champ Douglas said.
Hyde Yo Wife were helped out in a losing cause by a 20.20 point effort from Julio Jones, who beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 162 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. They also got help from a 18.30 point effort from Rob Gronkowski, who beat the Miami Dolphins defense for 113 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD.
“Our defense didn’t show up today,” Hyde Yo Wife coach Greg Stallworth said.
Hyde Yo Wife drew the short straw with their schedule this week, as their point total would have resulted in a win against 19 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for the Cacahuetes Orange to 6-4, and drops Hyde Yo Wife to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, 2-8 Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! are at the Cacahuetes Orange, where the Cacahuetes Orange are an early 70.8-point favorite, while Hyde Yo Wife are at 5-5 Phlying High, where Phlying High are an early 18.7-point underdog.
NC Titans Shock Surprise Scorpians
Difference Maker:
NC Titan’s Joe Flacco-QB (19.96 pts)
The NC Titans squeaked by a tough the Surprise Scorpians team by a score of 144.96 to 144.64, behind the support of 67,488 faithful fans at Titans Field.
The NC Titans were led to their 0.32 point victory by a 19.96 point effort from Joe Flacco, who beat the San Diego Chargers defense for 319 passing yards and 1 passing TD in addition to 2 rushing yards. They also got help from a 19.90 point effort from Luke Kuechly, who beat the Indianapolis Colts offense for 9 tackles and 1 interception.
“We finally got the monkey off our backs,” NC Titans coach Manzel Kendrick said.
The Surprise Scorpians were helped out in a losing cause by a 29.34 point effort from Tom Brady, who tore apart the Miami Dolphins defense for 356 passing yards and 4 passing TDs in addition to 1 rushing yards. With this performance, Brady was the number 5 ranked quarterback for week 8. They also got help from a 16.80 point effort from Demaryius Thomas, who beat the Green Bay Packers defense for 168 receiving yards.
“We came up a little short,” Surprise Scorpians coach Robert Elliott said.
Causing further embarrassment, the Surprise Scorpians could have scored 185.20 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Robert Elliott left key players like Eli Manning and his corresponding 37.00 points on the bench.
The Surprise Scorpians drew the short straw with their schedule this week, as their point total would have resulted in a win against 16 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for the NC Titans to 2-8, and drops the Surprise Scorpians to a record of 6-4.
Coming up in week 9, the Surprise Scorpians are at 4-6 Beer, Cheese, & Brats, where Beer, Cheese, & Brats are an early 1.6-point underdog, while 3-7 Jamstradamus are at the NC Titans, where the NC Titans are an early 21.9-point underdog.
Fear The CAT Edge Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs!
Difference Maker:
Fear The CAT’s Matt Ryan-QB (19.08 pts)
Fear The CAT edged by a tough Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! 117.78 to 115.78, behind the support of 72,735 faithful fans at On the Prowl Stadium.
Fear The CAT were led to their 2.00 point victory by a 19.08 point effort from Matt Ryan, who tore apart the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense for 397 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 2 rushing yards. They also got help from a 10.50 point effort from Robert Quinn, who beat the San Francisco 49ers offense for 3 tackles and 1.0 QB sack.
“Everyone counted us out before the season started,” Fear The CAT coach Billy Hewitt said.
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! were helped out in a losing cause by a 23.90 point effort from Julian Edelman, who got by the Miami Dolphins defense for 81 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Edelman was the number 4 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 17.20 point effort from Dion Lewis, who snuck past the Miami Dolphins defense for 19 rushing yards in addition to 93 receiving yards.
“Not to take away anything from our opponents, but we didn’t play like we’re capable of playing,” Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! coach Joshua Hagerman said.
Compounding the issue, Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! could have scored 129.08 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Joshua Hagerman left key players like Khalil Mack and his corresponding 14.10 points on the bench.
Fear The CAT took advantage of their schedule this week, as their point total would have gone for a loss against 16 out of 22 other potential opponents in week 8.
This brings the record for Fear The CAT to 7-3, and drops Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! to a record of 2-8.
Coming up in week 9, Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! are at the 6-4 Cacahuetes Orange, where the Cacahuetes Orange are an early 70.8-point favorite, while 6-4 Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood are at Fear The CAT, where Fear The CAT are an early 46.7-point underdog.
Phlying High Slips Pass Jamstradamus
Difference Maker:
Fear The CAT’s Dwayne Harris-WR (25.70 pts)
Phlying High slipped pass Jamstradamus team by a score of 132.34 to 124.30, behind the support of 66,110 faithful fans at The Linc.
Phlying High were led to their 1.04 point victory by a 25.70 point effort from Dwayne Harris, who snuck past the New Orleans Saints defense for 37 receiving yards and 2 receiving TDs. With this performance, Harris was the number 2 ranked wide receiver for week 8. They also got help from a 25.04 point effort from Philip Rivers, who beat the Baltimore Ravens defense for 301 passing yards and 3 passing TDs.
“I want to thank my Lord and Savior,” Phlying High coach Jake Fields said.
Jamstradamus were helped out in a losing cause by a 24.60 point effort from Alex Smith, who snuck past the Detroit Lions defense for 145 passing yards and 2 passing TDs in addition to 78 rushing yards. They also got help from a 14.40 point effort from Chandler Jones, who beat the Miami Dolphins offense for 4 tackles and 2.0 QB sacks.
“The ball just didn’t bounce our way,” Jamstradamus coach Mike Frier said.
This brings the record for Phlying High to 5-5, and drops Jamstradamus to a record of 3-7.
Coming up in week 9, Jamstradamus are at the 2-8 NC Titans, where the NC Titans are an early 21.9-point underdog, while 5-5 Hyde Yo Wife are at Phlying High, where Phlying High are an early 18.7-point underdog.
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood Steal the Win from Soul Snatchers
Difference Maker:
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood’s Ben Watson-TE (20.70 pts)
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood steal the win from the Soul Snatchers 129.18 to 101.64, behind the support of 73,249 faithful fans at Rodgers Field.
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood were led to their 20.54 point victory by a 20.70 point effort from Ben Watson, who beat the New York Giants defense for 147 receiving yards and 1 receiving TD. With this performance, Watson was the number 1 ranked tight end for week 8. They also got help from a11.00 point effort from Sean Lee, who beat the Seattle Seahawks offense for 5 tackles.
“We’re happy we could pull this one out at the end,” Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood coach Michael Liotta said.
The Soul Snatchers were helped out in a losing cause by a 15.40 point effort from Ameer Abdullah, who snuck past the Kansas City Chiefs defense for 3 rushing yards. They also got help from a 13.50 point effort from Daryl Smith, who beat the San Diego Chargers offense for 7 tackles.
“They stepped up and made the plays,” Soul Snatchers coach Marcus McKinley said.
Adding salt to the wound, the Soul Snatchers could have scored 157.72 points and earned the win with their best lineup, but Marcus McKinley left key players like Derek Carr and his corresponding 32.12 points on the bench.
This brings the record for Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood to 6-4, and drops the Soul Snatchers to a record of 5-5.
Coming up in week 9, the Soul Snatchers are at 8-2 The Gremlins, where The Gremlins are an early 2.8-point favorite, while Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood are at 7-3 Fear The CAT, where Fear The CAT are an early 46.7-point underdog.
**The Chase for The E.L.S.I.E. Playoff Race**
If the Playoffs Started Today…
Origins Conference
1.I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks (9-1) – Origins North Division Leaders
2.1010011010 (8-2) – Origins South Division Leaders
3.Hakeem I Saw I Conquered (7-3) – Origins Central Division Leaders
4.DeSeantourage (6-4) – Wildcard Team. Head-to-Head Tiebreaker over Dread Pirate Oso
Legends Conference
1.The Gremlins (8-2) – Legends East Division Leaders
2.Fear The CAT (7-3) – Legends Central Division Leaders
3.Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (6-4) – Legends West Division Leaders
4.Cacahuetes Orange (6-4) – Wildcard Team. Head-to-Head Tiebreaker over Surprise Scorpians
**Top 5 E.L.S.I.E. Poll**
Heading Into Week 9
1.1010011010 (8-2)
2.I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks (9-1)
3.The Gremlins (8-2)
4.Hakeem I Saw I Conquered (7-3)
5.Fear The CAT (7-3)
**Power Rankings**
Heading Into Week 9
1.I Got Sacks On Sacks On Sacks (53.51)
2.Surprise Scorpians (45.36)
3.The Gremlins (44.67)
4.1010011010 (43.34)
5.Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (42.40)
6.Dread Pirate Oso (42.07)
7.Cacahuetes Orange (41.07)
8.Hyde Yo Wife (40.87)
9.Hakeem I Saw I Conquered (40.64)
10.Fear The CAT (36.86)
11.Soul Snatchers (35.79)
12.DeSeantourage (34.84)
13.Beer, Cheese, & Brats (33.50)
14.San Diego Goats (32.32)
15.Phlying High (31.93)
16.Carolina Hitmen (30.91)
17.JUICE’S and BERRY’s (30.38)
18.Jamstradamus (29.35)
19.Clam Diggers (28.84)
20.I Go Deep (27.17)
21.BUCKNASTY BOYS (26.85)
22.Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs! (25.73)
23.Georgia Boy (24.23)
24.NC Titans (22.03)
**E.L.S.I.E. Island**
Four owner/coaches have been eliminated from E.L.S.I.E. Island in the latest Double Header Weekend. The San Diego Goats, JUICE’S and BERRY’s, Soul Snatchers, and Beer, Cheese, & Brats all have been eliminated this week. With low fantasy point totals for the San Diego Goats (99.24), the Soul Snatchers (101.64), JUICE’S and BERRY’s (103.48) and Beer, Cheese, & Brats (107.74).
Mr. Kutzke, Mr. Johnson, Mr. McKinley and Mr. Barnes, we salute you…
- Week 8 Elimination:
Beer, Cheese, & Brats, coached by Jim Barnes - Week 8 Elimination:
Soul Snatchers, coached by Marcus McKinley - Week 8 Elimination:
JUICE’S and BERRY’s, coached by Monte Johnson - Week 8 Elimination:
San Diego Goats, coached by Chad Kutzke - Week 7 Elimination:
Georgia Boy, coached by Jimmie Lewis - Week 6 Elimination:
NC Titans, coached by Manzel Kendrick - Week 5 Elimination:
Fear The CAT, coached by Billy Hewitt - Week 4 Elimination:
Hyde Yo Wife, coached by Greg Stallworth - Week 4 Elimination:
Famous’ Crablegs & Bootlegs!, coached by Joshua Hagerman - Week 4 Elimination:
DeSeantourage, coached by Theron K. Shavers Jr. - Week 4 Elimination:
Orange Peanuts, coached by Champ Douglas - Week 3 Elimination:
BUCKNASTY BOYS, coached by Jesse Lowrey - Week 2 Elimination:
Clam Diggers, coached by Rich Perez - Week 1 Elimination:
Carolina Hitmen, coached by Ronnell Morgan
**Bounties & Fines**
*Bounties Earn – $5.00*
“Snickers Award”, The Most Satisfying Player of the Week (Fantasy Gem) – Drew Brees-QB (46.30 fantasy pts)
Origins: 1010011010
Legends: Cacahuetes Orange
“Buddy Ryan Award” – The Highest Defensive Scoring Player of the Week – Whitney Mercilus-LB (25.30 fantasy pts)
Origins: None
Legends: None
“Gold Standard Award” – Team with the Highest Score in a Single Week.
Origins: 1010011010 – (180.00 fantasy pts)
Legends: Cacahuetes Orange – (174.70 fantasy pts)
“Monster Award” – Best Efficiency Fantasy Point Total in a Single Week.
This bounty will be removed for the remainder of the season as the point totals are not computing as they should be. Bounties earned through the season from this award will be honored for the end of the year balances.
*Fines Accessed – (-$5.00)*
“Hindsight Award”, aka Poor Coaching Decisions – The Losing Team with the Most Points Left on the Bench.
Origins: Carolina Hitmen – (51.48 fantasy pts)
Legends: Surprise Scorpians – (89.60 fantasy pts)
“Dunce Award” – Biggest Roster Mistake of the Week.
Origins: Hakeem I Saw I Conquered – Eli Manning (37.00 fantasy pts on the bench)
Legends: Soul Snatchers – Derek Carr (32.12 fantasy pts on the bench)
“Bridesmaid Award” – Closest Loss of the Week.
Origins: DeSeantourage – (2.96 fantasy pts)
Legends: Surprise Scorpians – (0.32 fantasy pts)
“Doormat Award” – Worse Efficiency Fantasy Point Total in a Single Week.
This fine will be removed for the remainder of the season as the point totals are not computing as it should be. Fines accessed through the season from this award will not be deducted from the end of the year balances.
